Monday, November 20, 2006

This list was made by a girl a few years younger than I who went to my high school. She was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks into her freshman year. She achieved remission, then relapsed. She had a bone marrow transplant. Then her kidneys started failing, so she had a kidney transplant. The prolonged steroid use damaged both her hips so she had hip replacement in both hips, one at a time. She has recurring Graft vs. Host disease (bad news for bone marrow patients). She has gone through SO MUCH! Yet she is so thankful. I know so often I grip so much it is easy to loose focus of the good things in life. Over this week, I'm going to try and make a list of my own. I encourage you to do the same. At some point, I'll post my list.
Her list:
1. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
2. A hot shower.
3. No lines at the grocery store.
4. Getting mail.
6. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
7. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
8. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
9. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
10. Laughing/giggling.
11. A good conversation.
12. Finding a 20 in your coat from last winter.
13. Laughing at yourself.
14. Running through sprinklers.
15. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
16. Friends.
17. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
18. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
19. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
20. Playing with a new puppy.
21. Sweet dreams.
22. Road trips with friends..or crazy ones with family!
23. Swinging on swings.
24. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
25. Winning a really competitive game...such as BOGGLE with my mom.
26. Making chocolate chip cookies and eating so much dough you feel sick.
27. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
29. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
30. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
31. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
32. Watching the sunrise and knowing who made it.
33. A special glance.
34. Being able to drink as much liquid as you want after having a kidney transplant...ok so not everyone understands this one..:)
35. Game night.
36. The smell of horses and hay...ok not for everyone :)

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

My Thankful list: ( A work in progess)
I have no homework tonight (I know, its a miracle.)
I have a warm roof over my head.
I have friends who support me.
I have a wonderful family who love and supports me unconditionally.
2 bottles of paid for insulin in the fridge.
Technology that keeps me ticking each and every day.
My admission to the nursing program
My endocrinologist who is the best!
My health, kidney condition or not.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

A meme

Stolen from Major Bedhead

Explain what ended your last relationship?
Um...yeah. I've always been single. Depressing, I know.

When was the last time you shaved?

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Sleeping!!! :-) I love Saturdays when I have no plans.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Reading blogs.

Are you any good at math?
Depends on which kind of math. I'm not bad at Algebra, but I'm lost with geometry.

Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
Junior year was stressful (I was on 2 planning committees). Senior year was more fun. I didn't dance at all.

Do you have any famous ancestors?

Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Oh heck yes. I am in dept up to my eyeballs. Luckily, if I work for 5 years as a nurse, I don't have to pay one of them back.

Last thing received in the mail?
A flyer for some event on campus. I don't get much mail.

How many different beverages have you had today?
One. Just water.

Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine?
Yes, although I always think I sound stupid.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
A Christian equivalent of NSync or Backstreet boys. They were called Plus One.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
I've never had any dental procedures. I've never had any cavities.

What is out your back door?
I don't really have a back door...I just have the one door and outside of that is the hallway of my dorm.

Any plans for Friday night?
Yesterday I hung out with friends. Next Friday? No idea. I don't plan that far in advance.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
I've never seen the ocean.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?

Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes, in elementary school.

Do you re-use towels after you shower?
I'm a college student. Anything to generate less laundry is a GOOD THING.

Some things you are excited about?
Thanksgiving break!

What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?
I HATE jello. I think it's because it was a free food when I was little so I had massive amounts of it, and can't stand it anymore.

Describe your keychain(s)?
Two keys: car and house. College keychain, one from Colorado, Chicago and DC.

Where do you keep your change?
A ladybug piggy bank. (It's my i-pod fund. In a few years I might actually be able to afford one).

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
I have no idea.

What kind of winter coat do you own?
A purple Columbia coat.

What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Sunny, I don't really remember the temp. I think it was nice.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I have no idea what I am doing computer, and html code wise. I couldn't even put the code in for the diabetes OC ring. It took me several months to figure out how to put in links. So I need a little help. Why is my about me and all that on the bottom of my page? Any ideas?
My second question is about beta blogger. Should I switch? Is it better, or will it just confuse the crap out of me?
Thanks in advance!

Muahahahaha! I figured it out! My post about getting into the nursing program with its six million exclamation points was messing everything up. It's back to normal now!

Monday, November 13, 2006

I REFUSE to be scared.

I had an endocrinologist appointment today. It was really short at just under an hour. My a1c was 7.4. I was somewhat pleased with that number. I expected it be higher, based on my control lately. But I had set a goal for myself of having an a1c right around 7.0. Six months ago, I was there. It has risen every since. First 7.2, now 7.4. The other slightly bad news is that I had protein in my urine. I know it can happen sometimes and not mean anything. I am more worried about what it COULD mean. I am trying my best NOT to be scared. I am 19 and I do not want to be dealing with complications. Dialysis is something that scares almost as much as loosing my eye sight. I refuse to live the next few weeks until I do a repeat test in fear. I can not do that to myself. Odds are, because of where I am in my cycle, (sorry guys) it is nothing. Here's hoping that's true.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

D-blog Day

I am taking a class called physiology right now. For those who don't know, it's pretty much the "How things work" for the body. It's crazy hard, but I like it. There is a three hour lab every week where we pretty much run medical test on ourselves. Today was the urine lab.
I dreaded this lab just about as much as the I am dreading the upcoming endocrine lab. What will my class say about my most likely abnormal test results? Which ones will be abnormal? Will I discover some complication today? Will there be blood or protein in my urine? Are you kidneys starting there decline? I'm sure others in my lab were not worried they would have abnormal test results. But I was.
I am a diabetic.
I have long accepted that.
I have been relatively lucky. I have had pretty decent control with not a whole lot of work. Except lately. Lately, is has take SO MUCH WORK! They say (who, I can't remember, but someone said it) that it takes an hour a day to manage diabetes. Some days that seems low, and some days it seems high. But let's think about that. An hour a day, for 17 years. That's 6,205 hours. 258 days. TWO HUNDRED FIFTY EIGHT DAYS!! Think of all I could have done with those days. That's three quarters of a year I could have wasted on something else entirely. Wow. If that doesn't blow you away, I don't know what will. I had another whole point, but I am so blow away by that, I'm just going to wait. 258 days. Gone.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Out of Control

I have had so many things to blog about lately, and absolutely no time to write about them. This week is my catch up week. The competition/choir I was a part of is now done (my class won, in case you were wondering- Go 09!). That gives me an extra couple of hours a night. I got into the nursing program, which is a HUGE relief, but it brings a whole new set of things to do. Next semester is going to be INSANE. I am taking 7 classes. It will be worth it though.
My control has been so horrible. I did not realize how horrible until I downloaded my pump in preparation for my endo appointment Monday. My daily averages have been in the 200's. As high as 260. YIKES! That is horrible. I don't know if it is just because I've been so busy, because I've had(actually still have) a cold or a combo of both. So starting today, i cracked down. Every single carb that enters my mouth is getting bolused for. I am making myself stop and think before I eat, and after I check myself so I can figure out what's going on. I have been merely reacting. I was still testing and bolusing, but just the bare minimum. I have not been proactive about how to prevent huge spikes and valleys. I will not be able to get it reigned back in by the time I go to the doctor on Monday, but at least I will have a plan. Its a good thing I printed the information off. It was a real wake-up call. Once I think back on it, I know I could make myself feel a lot better by lowering my blood sugars. Already today I've seen a little bit of difference in how I feel. Here's hoping I can continue!