I'm alive.
I think.
The holidays have kept me very busy. On top of all the Christmas stuff, I've been fighting the cold I got from babysitting my niece for the weekend(wasn't she so kind to pass it on to me?) and not getting enough sleep from my mini-road trip to Chicago.
I'm busy, very busy.
I've decided that rather than feel guilty about not updating, I'd put the blog on hold for a while. Instead, I will wait until my birthday (as of Friday I won't be a teenager anymore!)and Christmas is over, and I have my high speed internet connection back. Dial up is the worst!
Happy Holidays everyone!

343

I'm 343, and my concentration is shot. The next hour, if not more, is worthless. Usually, not a big deal. When cramming for finals, however, it is more than a little annoying. I have mountains of information that I need to learn in the next few days, and precious little time to do it. Now, my brain is all fuzzy. I feel like I'm in la-la land. I keep getting distracted even typing this post. Grr. I guess I'm going to have to resort myself to doing dishes and other unpleasant tasks until my blood sugar comes down and I can concentrate.

Exam week

I have final exams next week. Exam week = death. I'm sick of studying already, and I've barely studied. I plan to spend most of the day studying. I'm banning myself from reading blogs today. My list of blogs just keeps growing. It takes quite a while to read through all of them. This is great when I want to procrastinate, but I can't afford to do that this weekend. I'll be studying my life away! As long as I can keep my concentration, and something like this doesn't happen again, I should be fine.

Glycemic Index

I'm currently working on writing a paper on the glycemic index and the control of blood glucose. Why? Because my Physiology lab won't let me do the endocrinology lab. Why? Because eating food is BAD for diabetics. Grrrr. ANYWAY. I've never really gotten into the glycemic index. The research I've been finding is very conflicting. The Glycemic index is either a great thing or an evil thing, depending on who writes the article. I'm looking at reputable sites, like the American Diabetes Association and the American Dietetic Association. My question is: What does the OC, as a group of people who need to control their blood glucose think of the glycemic index? Has anyone seen any good studies on it? Have you tried it? What did you think?
Thanks!

I'm OK!

I got my urine test results back yesterday. My kidneys are 100% fine. All tests were normal. I am so relieved. As much as I was trying not to worry about it, I still thought about it too much. I'm glad it's done with.
I listened to my intuition today, and it was right. I put a new site in this morning. I felt like I should leave the old site in, just in case. I do not normally do that. The site usually itches enough that I want to get rid of it. It was a good thing I left it in, because just a few hours later (while away from home) I had a blocked tubing alert. I just had to disconnect from the new site and connect to the old. I felt a little like a robot that needed to plug in, but it saved me a whole lot of stress and extra work! I might have to do that a little more often.
Life is once again busy, busy, busy! I have one more week of class until exams, and then Christmas break! I'm really for a little R&R. There are so many things that come with the end of the semester, that I don't know how often I'll be updating. I'll try and keep reading though! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

This list was made by a girl a few years younger than I who went to my high school. She was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks into her freshman year. She achieved remission, then relapsed. She had a bone marrow transplant. Then her kidneys started failing, so she had a kidney transplant. The prolonged steroid use damaged both her hips so she had hip replacement in both hips, one at a time. She has recurring Graft vs. Host disease (bad news for bone marrow patients). She has gone through SO MUCH! Yet she is so thankful. I know so often I grip so much it is easy to loose focus of the good things in life. Over this week, I'm going to try and make a list of my own. I encourage you to do the same. At some point, I'll post my list.
Her list:
1. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
2. A hot shower.
3. No lines at the grocery store.
4. Getting mail.
6. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
7. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
8. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
9. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
10. Laughing/giggling.
11. A good conversation.
12. Finding a 20 in your coat from last winter.
13. Laughing at yourself.
14. Running through sprinklers.
15. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
16. Friends.
17. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
18. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
19. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
20. Playing with a new puppy.
21. Sweet dreams.
22. Road trips with friends..or crazy ones with family!
23. Swinging on swings.
24. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
25. Winning a really competitive game...such as BOGGLE with my mom.
26. Making chocolate chip cookies and eating so much dough you feel sick.
27. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
28.HUGS!!
29. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
30. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
31. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
32. Watching the sunrise and knowing who made it.
33. A special glance.
34. Being able to drink as much liquid as you want after having a kidney transplant...ok so not everyone understands this one..:)
35. Game night.
36. The smell of horses and hay...ok not for everyone :)
37. GETTING OUT OF BED EVERY MORNING AND THANKING GOD FOR ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY!

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

My Thankful list: ( A work in progess)
I have no homework tonight (I know, its a miracle.)
I have a warm roof over my head.
I have friends who support me.
I have a wonderful family who love and supports me unconditionally.
2 bottles of paid for insulin in the fridge.
Technology that keeps me ticking each and every day.
My admission to the nursing program
My endocrinologist who is the best!
My health, kidney condition or not.

A meme

Stolen from Major Bedhead

Explain what ended your last relationship?
Um...yeah. I've always been single. Depressing, I know.

When was the last time you shaved?
Um..Friday.

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Sleeping!!! :-) I love Saturdays when I have no plans.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Reading blogs.

Are you any good at math?
Depends on which kind of math. I'm not bad at Algebra, but I'm lost with geometry.

Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
Junior year was stressful (I was on 2 planning committees). Senior year was more fun. I didn't dance at all.

Do you have any famous ancestors?
Nope.

Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Oh heck yes. I am in dept up to my eyeballs. Luckily, if I work for 5 years as a nurse, I don't have to pay one of them back.

Last thing received in the mail?
A flyer for some event on campus. I don't get much mail.

How many different beverages have you had today?
One. Just water.

Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine?
Yes, although I always think I sound stupid.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
A Christian equivalent of NSync or Backstreet boys. They were called Plus One.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
No.

What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
I've never had any dental procedures. I've never had any cavities.

What is out your back door?
I don't really have a back door...I just have the one door and outside of that is the hallway of my dorm.

Any plans for Friday night?
Yesterday I hung out with friends. Next Friday? No idea. I don't plan that far in advance.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
I've never seen the ocean.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
No

Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes, in elementary school.

Do you re-use towels after you shower?
I'm a college student. Anything to generate less laundry is a GOOD THING.

Some things you are excited about?
Thanksgiving break!

What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?
I HATE jello. I think it's because it was a free food when I was little so I had massive amounts of it, and can't stand it anymore.

Describe your keychain(s)?
Two keys: car and house. College keychain, one from Colorado, Chicago and DC.

Where do you keep your change?
A ladybug piggy bank. (It's my i-pod fund. In a few years I might actually be able to afford one).

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
I have no idea.

What kind of winter coat do you own?
A purple Columbia coat.

What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Sunny, I don't really remember the temp. I think it was nice.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Closed.

I have no idea what I am doing computer, and html code wise. I couldn't even put the code in for the diabetes OC ring. It took me several months to figure out how to put in links. So I need a little help. Why is my about me and all that on the bottom of my page? Any ideas?
My second question is about beta blogger. Should I switch? Is it better, or will it just confuse the crap out of me?
Thanks in advance!

*edit*
Muahahahaha! I figured it out! My post about getting into the nursing program with its six million exclamation points was messing everything up. It's back to normal now!

I REFUSE to be scared.

I had an endocrinologist appointment today. It was really short at just under an hour. My a1c was 7.4. I was somewhat pleased with that number. I expected it be higher, based on my control lately. But I had set a goal for myself of having an a1c right around 7.0. Six months ago, I was there. It has risen every since. First 7.2, now 7.4. The other slightly bad news is that I had protein in my urine. I know it can happen sometimes and not mean anything. I am more worried about what it COULD mean. I am trying my best NOT to be scared. I am 19 and I do not want to be dealing with complications. Dialysis is something that scares almost as much as loosing my eye sight. I refuse to live the next few weeks until I do a repeat test in fear. I can not do that to myself. Odds are, because of where I am in my cycle, (sorry guys) it is nothing. Here's hoping that's true.

D-blog Day

I am taking a class called physiology right now. For those who don't know, it's pretty much the "How things work" for the body. It's crazy hard, but I like it. There is a three hour lab every week where we pretty much run medical test on ourselves. Today was the urine lab.
I dreaded this lab just about as much as the I am dreading the upcoming endocrine lab. What will my class say about my most likely abnormal test results? Which ones will be abnormal? Will I discover some complication today? Will there be blood or protein in my urine? Are you kidneys starting there decline? I'm sure others in my lab were not worried they would have abnormal test results. But I was.
I am a diabetic.
I have long accepted that.
I have been relatively lucky. I have had pretty decent control with not a whole lot of work. Except lately. Lately, is has take SO MUCH WORK! They say (who, I can't remember, but someone said it) that it takes an hour a day to manage diabetes. Some days that seems low, and some days it seems high. But let's think about that. An hour a day, for 17 years. That's 6,205 hours. 258 days. TWO HUNDRED FIFTY EIGHT DAYS!! Think of all I could have done with those days. That's three quarters of a year I could have wasted on something else entirely. Wow. If that doesn't blow you away, I don't know what will. I had another whole point, but I am so blow away by that, I'm just going to wait. 258 days. Gone.

Out of Control

I have had so many things to blog about lately, and absolutely no time to write about them. This week is my catch up week. The competition/choir I was a part of is now done (my class won, in case you were wondering- Go 09!). That gives me an extra couple of hours a night. I got into the nursing program, which is a HUGE relief, but it brings a whole new set of things to do. Next semester is going to be INSANE. I am taking 7 classes. It will be worth it though.
My control has been so horrible. I did not realize how horrible until I downloaded my pump in preparation for my endo appointment Monday. My daily averages have been in the 200's. As high as 260. YIKES! That is horrible. I don't know if it is just because I've been so busy, because I've had(actually still have) a cold or a combo of both. So starting today, i cracked down. Every single carb that enters my mouth is getting bolused for. I am making myself stop and think before I eat, and after I check myself so I can figure out what's going on. I have been merely reacting. I was still testing and bolusing, but just the bare minimum. I have not been proactive about how to prevent huge spikes and valleys. I will not be able to get it reigned back in by the time I go to the doctor on Monday, but at least I will have a plan. Its a good thing I printed the information off. It was a real wake-up call. Once I think back on it, I know I could make myself feel a lot better by lowering my blood sugars. Already today I've seen a little bit of difference in how I feel. Here's hoping I can continue!

I
Got
in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Words can not express how happy I am right now.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read this

STRESS!!!

My stress level is so high right now. I'm afraid my brain might explode. There is no end in sight. Ok, maybe in a month, but not before. What is stressing my out. Let me count a few of the ways...
1. My 83 year old grandma had knee replacement surgery. Came out fine, today, she is confused and groggy. Not. Good.
2. I am doing this choir type thing at school that involves practice for 2.5 hours EVERY NIGHT.
3. I have 5 test strips left. Friendly supply company called today to say they don't carry them at their store anymore, they have to ship them to me.
4. I now have to make a trip to Walgreens and spend who know how much because the company doesn't bother to let me know!
5.News on my nursing application is due any day now.
6. Midterm grades are due today.
7. I have 3 major exams next week.
8. I am sick. Again.

I know it doesn't seem like much, but put it all together and AHH!!!

This has been another pointless rant by Jen.

Ross man
I don't know who you are, but you just MADE MY DAY!!!
That is AMAZING!! Everyone, go here and click on ross man's name. You will die laughing. I did.

1. Do you still have tonsils?
Yes.
2. Would you bungee jump?
No way!! Heights are one of my biggest fears!

3. If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would you do?
Nursing.

4. How many tattoos do you have?
None.

5. Your favorite fictional animal?
The liger. Not really, I just couldn't come up with anything better.

6. One person that never fails to make you laugh?
My Niece

7. Do you consider yourself organized?
Depends on the situation. For the most part, yes.
8. Any addictions?
Chocolate and certain TV shows.

9 From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
Ummmm....you mean there are things going on outside my college? Really? There are things going on outside this bubble?
One in a great while, I turn on the news on TV, but usually I don't get my news from anywhere! Sad, but true.
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus?
A Carnival.

11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you
grew up?
A doctor, and EMT or a teacher

12. Best movie you've seen this year?
Chronicles of Narnia (that was less than a year ago, right?)

13. Favorite alcoholic drink.
Not 21. :-)
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Shut off my alarm clock and check my bg.

15. Siblings?
2 older brothers, both married

16. What is the best thing about your job?
I can often do homework and get paid for it. :-)

17. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Nope

18. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
Right now, I want to be able to change the weather. Right now, its SNOWING!!!! IT"S OCTOBER!!!
19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
YES! I LOVE Ikea!! My futon in my dorm room, and my desk at home are both from there, plus a bunch of little stuff.

20. Have you ever gone camping?
Every fall with the fam!

21. Gas prices - first thought
Not as bad as they have been.

22. Your favorite cartoon character?
The baby from the Incredibles. Watch Jack-Jack attack. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I've baby sat kids like that!

23. What was your first car?
A 1986 Buick Park Avenue. Now remember, I was BORN in 1986. This car was OLDER than I was.

24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No.

25. The Cosby Show or The Simpsons?
Hmmmm. Depends on my mood. I used to love the cosby show, but I don't know when its on anymore.


26. Do you go to church?
I try and go every week, but sometimes sleep overpowers it. I do try and go to chapel 2-3 times a week though, and that is kind of like church.

27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
The adult side of me says Pres. Bush, the teenage side of me says some of the stars from Grey's Anatomy.

28. What errand/chore do you despise?
Washing dishes

29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! NOT YET!!!

30 Last time you puked from drinking?
Never. (see #13. I'm a goody-good. What can I say)

31. What is your heritage?
Dutch
32. Favorite flower?
Gerber Daisy

33. Disney or Warner Bros?
Disney

34. What is your best childhood memory?
Camping, and hiking with my family.

35. Your favorite potato chip?
Baked Lays

36. What is your favorite candy?
Kit Kat

37. Do you burn or tan?
Tan
38. Astrological sign?
Capricorn.

39. Do you own a gun?
No. But I love to target practice!

40. What do you think of hot dogs?
Really good grilled.

I lied.







*Update*
I found out the pharmacy was just billing insurance #2, not #1. That is what got us stuck with bills the last time, because #2 is not supposed to be paying for everything. When we tried to get #1 to pay, they will only give me limited amounts. Everyone in the world seems to think 200 strips is SOO MANY!! Why in the world would I need to test more than 4 times a day????? So now I'm in the process of appealing that amount. Not a HUGE deal, just another annoyance that I thought was all taken care of!

Because I am a 5 year kid inside, and I'm easily entertained

Blogger's spell check cracks me up. So I decided to make a list of diabetic words and see what it does to them. The list on the left will be what I typed, and the list on the right will be what blogger says it should be.

Quick-set Suicide
Insulin no suggestions
Humalog homology
Novolog navels
Lanclet loincloth
Cozmo cozen
Mimimed manumit
Animas anions
Islet Islet
A1c AAA
Lantus lunatic
Levemir no suggestions
Ketones Kittens
JDRF nothing
Ketoacidosis nothing
Cleo clew
Minimed (the right way) minuend
Lancet(The right way) Lancet
This is what happens on too little sleep!!

That's all for now. If you have any additions, and want to join the fun, let me know!

October 3, 1988

18 years ago, I was in the hospital. I have no memories of this monumental time of my life. I've seen pictures. I look like a orphan child from a third world country, but surrounded by stuffed animals, balloons and family.
18 years is a very long time. A lifetime in fact. Like Allison said, now my diabetes can vote. Hurray? Maybe. I am 18 years complication free. I don't really consider that an accomplishment. I'm only 19 years old for crying out loud! I shouldn't have any complications.
This day doesn't seem any different to me. I don't know if it should.
In general, I am really freaking sick of all the crap. For years and years, it never bothered me.
But lately?
Man.
Site rashes
Painful sites
Ball in my stomach crappy highs
Stuff my face and never come up lows.
A few weeks ago, for the first time I can ever remember, I could actually picture a cure. For ME. When that story about the cure for kids diagnosed before 6 months came out, my heart skipped beat. I quickly did the mental math, to see if it was even possible that I had diabetes at 6 months, and went undiagnosed. I pictured what it would be like to be FREE. I was quickly disappointed. The difference between 6 months and 22 months is just too much. Too much to research further. I was disappointed. Maybe that's why it is all bothering me so much lately. Or maybe it's the transition to school. Once again, I have to explain the ins and outs to my roommates. They are really nice about it. They WANT to know, but once I start to explain, I realize just how much there is. From the little things from what my blood sugar should be, to why I need to change my site, what ketones are and why in the world I went off my pump. It's just so much!
I know I'm pretty much the youngest blogger in the OC. I'm too dang young to have been dealing with this more 18 years.
So happy anniversary to me. Maybe I'll go to Dairy Queen or something tonight, or maybe I'll just ignore the day.

Two Questions

I have two new requests for the OC. One is a serious one, the other is not.
First:
My new blue pump remains nameless. Anyone have any suggestions for him(or her?)?

Second:
I have developed a nice, itchy reaction to my quicksets. Every site itches while it is on, and when I take it off there is a series of red, raised bumps where the site was. What can I do about it? Now before you answer this, keep in mind I have the same reaction for IV3000 and Tegaderm. Does anyone know of any other products? This is a recurring problem. I get these rashes for a few months, and then they go away. But then have never been this bad before. This goes to show that even after 7ish years pumping, I still do not know everything. I'm still learning!
Any and All suggestions welcome!

*Update*
I screwed my pump last night, at about 2am. I was really high, and really angry and sick of dealing with all the crap, so I gave a shot of Levemir, and pulled out the pump site. I've been on shots since then. I called MM to see if they had any suggestions, and they were shockingly helpful. (I have had some horrible Minimed experiences) They are overnighting me some different tape samples, and some sets in case the ones I have are defective. The Minimed I knew NEVER volunteered that it might be there fault! I'm shocked! I still appreciate any suggestions you guys have!

Did you know?

Did you know, that it is extremely helpful to put insulin in the cartridge when doing a site change? That air will not prime the tubing?
This is a lesson I learned at 2am last night.

On a lighter note...

I got three exams back today.
All I can say it, FINALLY all of my hard work is starting to pay off.
physiology: The hardest of all my classes, in which most people want to die: I got 93%!!!!!!!!!! Words can not express how happy this makes me.
Sociology: I didn't study too much for this, because it was the day after Phys, and I just didn't care anymore: 88%
Psychology: 92%. Only 2 people in all of my professors classes did better than I did. I rock.
That is the bulletin of the day.
More doom and gloom tomorrow. :-)

A very long rant.

I had such a bad week last week. If something could go wrong diabetes wise, it did.
Last Friday, I had a bad site. I ended up skipping a class because I felt so horrible. My highs don't usually affect me as badly as they did that day. I couldn't eat most of the day because of horrible ketones, so it was almost 2pm before I ate anything. That started me down a vicious cycle. I couldn't eat because I didn't feel good, so I started getting starvation ketones, which made me feel worse, which makes me not want to eat...... I finally forced down some applesauce just to get some carbs and more insulin into my system.
I had the weekend to recover.
Monday morning. I wake up having to go to the bathroom SOO bad. While I'm in the bathroom, my pump starts to SIREN. I don't know if anyone has ever heard the Cozmo siren, but its loud. Sadly, my roommate wasn't up before then, but she certainly was after! The screen said that the battery was dead. There was no low battery alarm, and I had changed it last week. Of course, I was out of new batteries. I took the old battery out so the thing would SHUT UP, threw some clothes on, and went to the bookstore to get more batteries. After I put them into the pump, it seemed to work OK, but this was the second time this had happened to that pump. I was not letting it go. I called Deltec and got the nicest woman. She agreed I needed a whole new pump. When she asked what color I had, I told her gray but then asked if I could have another color. I had to quickly make up my mine. I said blue on an impulse. After checking to make sure they had new blue pumps (she didn't want me to have a refurbished one) she said I could have it!! That made me really happy!!! No more boring gray! After I got my old pump working, I checked myself. I'm high, of course. I debated whether to go on shots or not. I decided I didn't really need to. I gave the bolus. Halfway through I got my favorite (sarcasm) alarm. Blockage Detected!! Oh joy! On top of everything else, I got to do a site change too!
Tuesday: New pump arrives. Not a major deal, I just had to take the time to program it. But that too takes time, time that I did not really have.
Wednesday: While sleeping, I started having the strangest dream. In it, I was rushing trying to get ready, and my pump just wouldn't stop beeping or vibrating, no matter what I did! Finally, I woke up to another blockage. Grrr. Another site change! As if waking up over 300 or 400 twice in the past week wasn't enough!
Thursday night: I woke up feeling low. I was 40. I don't know if it was because I was so tired, or so low, but I couldn't stay awake. I kept falling asleep while I was eating. All of my food is right next to my bed, so I don't have to get out of bed when I'm low. I must have had 3 or 4 granola bars, a couple of packages of fruit snacks and a bottle of juice. When I woke up the next morning, I was only 294. With that many carbs, I should have been much, much higher. It was a scary experience, one I don't want to repeat.
Last night: Check at 11:30, 383. Crap. Bolus the correction. Check an hour later. 150. CRAP!!!! Now I want to come down fast as much as the next diabetic, but I had lots and lots of IOB. I did not know what to do. I finally decided to shut my basal off for 3 hours, and to set my alarm for an hour later. For once in my life, I made the right decision. I went up to 160, and never dropped below that.
So that is a synopsis of all the crap that has been going on lately. Surprisingly, I didn't want to get rid of my pump. I just didn't want to be diabetic anymore! I am so sick of all the crap!

October 1st.

Does that date mean anything to you?

Probably not.

But it means a heck of a lot to me.

October 1st is the date my application for the nursing department is due. Just sitting here typing about it is clenching my stomach into knots. I know that I will spend the next few months worrying. November 6th is when registration for classes begin, so I will know by then.

I am so dang nervous, I can't even think about working on my homework right now. Homework that is so important. It is important, so that I can learn the material and do well in my classes. If I do well in my classes, I might get into the nursing program. But I am so worried about getting into the nursing program, that I can't do my homework. I'm in a little bit of a pickle.

UGH! Do you know how much this stinks? I KNOW what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am very blessed for that reason. What stinks is that I CAN'T DO IT! I have been amazed at the number of people the last 5-6 months, that have told me, not knowing my dreams, that I should be a nurse. The only people that don't seem to think I'm good enough are the only people that really matter: the nursing board.

I could really use some thoughts and prayers. Starting October 1st (and probably before) I'm going to be a nervous wreck. If I don't get into the program this time, I have some major, major life decisions to make, and they are not going to be easy or pleasant.

Life has been so crazy lately. I moved back to school a couple of weeks ago, and the transition has been harder than I thought it would be. On top of that (or maybe because of that) my blood sugars have been terrible. One of these days I'll get around to writing them all down and trying to figure out if there is any real trend.
In the mean time, I'm doing my best to make sure everyone in my classes think I'm a drug addict.
The other day I had a bad site, and flew up to 450. Sadly, this was during the middle of class. I wrote on a page in my notebook "I'm really high!" I showed it to my friend before I left class to change my site. That page was the same one I wrote out my part of a group presentation. At the next class, I gave my notebook to another group member to read over. When she handed it back, she gave me kind of a weird look, but didn't say anything. It wasn't until later that I realized what was written on the notebook, and why she gave me a weird look.
Case #2. Physiology class. I was digging around in my backpack before class, trying to find a pen. I felt something thin and round. I pulled it out. Nope! It wasn't a pen, it was a syringe. Whoops. No idea how many people saw in that class, but it gave me a good laugh.
In other news, the JDRF walk is going well. People who have never donated before are giving large amounts, like $100. The bad news, people who usually donate haven't gotten back to me. People like my brothers. That is always a sticky situation. I would like them to donate. In the past they've donated. But, what it they don't want to this year? I don't want to bug them about it, and make them feel pressured. Hopefully they people will start sending in their checks so I don't have to make those awkward phone calls.
Back to the never ending world of homework!

**A HUGE thank you to Tiffany at the Diabetes OC, and Candid Diabetes for fixing my Diabetes OC Navigation Bar. It works!**

In what kind of f-ing world does my blood sugar RISE 200 points after exercise????
There was no rebound.
Grrr.
*More later, just a quick rant before I go to bed.*

JDRF walk

I need some help creating a letter to send to my relatives to raise money for the JDRF walk. Can you all give me some input?

Dear
October 3, 1988.
That date was my Grandpa and Grandma Root’s wedding anniversary. It is also the date I was diagnosed with type one diabetes. That was 18 years ago. Today, my pancreas still does not produce insulin. Until a cure is found, I will wear my insulin pump 24 hours a day. To make sure I’m getting the right amount of insulin, I have to check my blood sugar six to ten times a day. Insulin keeps me alive, plain and simple. Insulin is not a cure for diabetes. The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation is dedicated to finding a cure for me and the 3 million other people with type one diabetes. That’s why I will be walking on September 16 at Holland State Park for the tenth year. A cure is out there, and JDRF will find it!
Will you consider helping them make my dream of a cure come true?
Thank you for your continued support!

To donate online, or by credit card, please visit:
www.tiny.cc/jgrasman



It needs some help, and I know it, but what does it need?

Tiny Bubbles...

Since the OC so accurately predicted that I was going to be sick (and I was) I have another problem.
What is it?
Bubbles.
Lots and lots of bubbles.
Unlike the song, these bubbles are not making me feel happy or feel fine.
They are in the cartridge. In the tubing. They are killing me. This has never been a problem before. Now all of a sudden, when I fill the cartridge, there are foamy bubbles. When I change my site, there are huge bubbles. Once in a while, I notice bubbles in the tubing. Long ones. Several units long. It takes a lot of insulin to get rid of them.
So, I'm coming to the experts. How do you prevent bubbles? How do you get rid of them? Should I be pulling the cartridge out daily to check for them?
Thanks!

There is a special guessing game I play a couple of times a year.
It centers around one question.
Am I high because I'm sick, or am I sick because I'm high?
I am going through that debate right now. I have been in the 200's for the past couple of days, and now in the 300's. I've changed my site, and I will change it again tonight. I have a sore throat, confusion and fatigue. All could mean my sugar is high. All could also mean I am getting sick. So how do I find out? Anyone have any good ideas, or is time the only remedy?

~Camp synopsis coming soon.
~T minus 18 days until I move back to school

IT'S OVER

I have 300 beautiful, fully paid for freestyle flash test strips sitting in my supply tub. I also have 6 vials of humalog insulin sitting in my fridge. Also, completely paid for. And not by me. BY THE INSURANCE COMPANY!!!
THE FIRST TIME!!! HURRAY!! IT"S OVER!!!

Camp

It's that time again! Camp time!
I first went to Camp MIDICHA 10 years ago.
It was the first time I truly realized that there were other diabetics in the world. Not just other adults, like my grandpa, but other kids! It was the first time I realized that I wasn't the only one who had vision changes with blood sugar changes. I wasn't the only one!
I went to midicha as a camper for 7 years, then became a CIT (counselor in training) and then a counselor. I wanted to be like all of the great counselors I had over the years.
I was sorely disappointed. My very first session, there were 4 other counselors in one cabin. Not fun. We stepped on each others toes all the time. The campers quickly learned that if one of us said no, they should just go to another one. It took us a while to get our act together. The second session of that year was even worse. I only had one co-counselor, like normal. Her name was Lisa and she was from Spain. Lisa seemed nice enough at first. Then she started disappearing. At first she said she had to have allergy shots. Every day. Riiight. Then, those half hour disappearance became several hours. Then she started telling me I was doing all the diabetes care wrong. There was no need to check campers again 15 minutes after they were low. It didn't really matter if we checked them at midnight or 4am. It was the same thing. The worst part is, I could get her in trouble because she was dating the head counselor.
The second year, I had high hopes. I walked into my cabin to meet my co-counselor. The first thing she tells me? She's usually a ranch staffer, so she's not used to being around the kids 24/7, and she's not happy about it. Great.....
So this year, I decided I wasn't going to work at camp. The plan was to get a summer job, and then I wouldn't have time for camp. I would plan a weekend to get together with my camp friends. However, the current job market and my friends did not cooperate. I did not land a job, and one of my friends still wanted to go to camp. So. Off to camp I go. Other than the bad co-counselors, camp has been pretty fun. If I get a good one this year, I'll go again next year. If not, then I don't know.

Rest In Peace Toby

This morning, my faithful friend of only 3 years died.
He was one of the best trained and loveable pets I have ever had. Toby will be greatly missed.

un-motivated

I am completely NOT motivated in my diabetes care lately. I went to the endo's office a few weeks ago. My A1c was good (7.2) but I needed to do more work. I was having frequent lows. Now, I'm having frequent highs. Crappy, sick to my stomach, drink tons of water, highs. I really, really need to start logging again, and even more importantly, do some basal testing. I hate testing basals. Breakfast skips are really easy. Lunch and supper? Not so much. I THINK about doing it all the time, but it is so easy to come up with excuses not to actually stop eating, test every hour and write it down. Why is it so dang difficult???

Cross your fingers.
Rub your lucky rabbits foot.
PRAY!
The insurance fiasco may be solved. We are in the process of transferring from tradition BCBS to point of service. The very helpful and friendly man at Blue Cross promises we won't be sorry. I plan on holding him to that.
Now, the major hurtles include:
Actually getting all the paperwork filled out and to the correct people.
Making sure they cover everything like they said they would
Seeing if they cover my endo (oh please Lord I hope so!)
Seeing if insurance #1 and #2 play well with each other
Finding out if there is a pharmacy in my area that will take this (#*%& insurance.

This new insurance seems too good to be true. It promises a $10 co-pay on all prescriptions. No limits on insulin or test strips. Any pharmacy I choose. Could it really be true???
I'll find out later this week!

I'm in love

I went to the endo yesterday.
My A1c was 7.2, up a little, but still not bad.
I talked to him about different options for thigh sites. I've tried my quick-sets there a couple of times, and it just didn't work for me. He recommended I try the Cleo from Cozmo. ( http://www.cleoinfusionsets.com ) He gave me 2 to try. They have a big shortage, so he couldn't get me more. I tried one this morning. I LOVE it!! I've tried sof-sets, quick-sets, the angled sets and insets. This is by far my favorite. For the first time ever, the insertion device doesn't make a really loud noise, or jolt into me. It is so EASY and pain free. I can go as fast or slow as I want to. Plus, it is PURPLE! Can you tell I'm excited? Another huge plus is that it doesn't burn when it delivers insulin, like the quick-set does in my leg. I sure hope I can get more of them, because it's going to be hard to go back to quick-sets, even after one day.
I wanted to share my joy. I greatly recommend trying these if you can!

Eye Doctor

I went to the eye doctor tonight.
It has me pretty upset.
Every time I go, I have my eyes dilated, like a good little diabetic.
Then I sit there, without my contacts, blind for 10 minutes while the drops work.
I went into the room, and the doctor came in. He made the required small talk. I hate this part of the appointment. My doctor is a relative of sorts. His daughter just married my cousin. We talked about the wedding. Then I had to hear, once again, how the college he went to is better than the college I go to. (They are arch rivals.) Then he starts the exam. He pulls out the little light, and starts looking. This time, he lingers longer on each eye longer than usual. So long, that my dilated eyes tear excessively, and I long to close them. He makes annoying worried noises that sent my panic level through the roof. Finally, he shuts the little light off, and leans back. "Well, your eyes look good Jennifer." (Oh really? I think. What about the noises?) "I can see some evidence of diabetes in your eyes. (WHAAAATTT!!!) Don't worry though. All it does is confirms the fact that you are diabetic."
I don't want my eyes telling anyone that I am diabetic!
I am 19 years old. I want normal eyes. I want to have great vision for another 60 years! OK, so I already have crappy vision, but a pair of glasses/contacts fix that. I don't want to have to worry about blood vessels showing I'm diabetic! I know I'm probably over reacting, but I really want to have good vision. I don't want to be one of those people that others look at and say, "oh, she's blind. She has diabetes you know."
So, the next part, is all the tests he wants to do all the time. Just last year, I had a visual field test done. Now, he wants another one. It seems a little much to me. Does anyone know what test are recommended? I looked on the ADA website, but I can't seem to find it.
Other than the "evidence of diabetes" everything else was fine, including my retinal photograph. I guess that's good. I just wish I had completely normal eyes.

Colorado

Day 1. Traveling
I started out Monday afternoon, and drove to my brother and sister in laws house. I spent the night there, hanging out with them. Tuesday, we started the drive to Chicago. We arrived at the airport behind schedule, which put us all on edge. We found the ticket counter, checked our luggage and got in line. I took my pump out of the case, and put it in my front pocket on the recommendation of a previous security screener. I went before my brother, just in case I set off the detectors. As I walked through the gate, I felt myself tense up. I waited for the beep, and the dark look from the screener. I continued to wait. No beep! I turned around and smiled at Mike (my brother). I made it! The flight to Colorado went fine. I got a little motion sick, but nothing bad. At the Denver airport, we met my other brother (Nick) his wife, (Cherie) and my niece (Maribel). We went out for a late supper, got groceries, and drove to the cabin. We were truly in for a rustic camping experience. The cabin was up in the mountains, 45 minutes from any civilization. We collapsed into bed at 2am.
Day 2
I woke up at a decent 200. Not bad considered all the travel and the time change. I decided that since we were going to go hiking first thing that day, not to correct. I had some cereal, and cut my basal in half right after breakfast. We packed up, and drove to Rocky Mountain National park for our first hike. In the car, I checked myself, not feeling the best. My two cautious moves earlier that morning took a major toll. I was 400. I started to panic. It was too late to tell everyone that we couldn't hike for another hour, and I wasn't sure how much of a correction to give. I had no idea what kind of hike we were in for. I guessed, and we started out on the trail. I checked every half hour after that. I slowly, but not too slowly, came back down. I spent the rest of the day hovering between 140 and 180. The first hike we took was to a set of waterfalls. They were beautiful. Well worth the 6 mile hike in the 90 degree heat.
Day 3
After the previous days strenuous hike, we decided to take our second day a little bit easier. We woke up (I was again in the 200's. That time I corrected), ate breakfast and dressed for another 90 degree day. As we piled into the car, we noticed it was cooler than the day before, but it was also earlier. When we got to the trail head, it was 55. It never got above 65 the whole day. We were a little cold in our shorts and T-shirts. Once again, it was beautiful, and once again, my blood sugars stayed picture perfect on 50% basal reduction.
Day 4
The fourth day was once of the most beautiful. It was a longer hike again, but by definitely worth it. It both rained and snowed while we made our way to Nypm, Emerald and Dream lakes. The view at Emerald lake was just amazing. I stuck with the 50% basal. When we sat down for lunch, I was in the 90's. That was the lowest I had gone while hiking so far.
Day 5
After hearing all about Trail Ridge Road, and how beautiful it was, we decided to try it. We weren't sure how it was going to go. Maribel (my year old niece) had decided she hated riding in the car, and would scream anytime we drove anywhere. The. Entire. Time. I love her dearly, but I think most of us wanted to murder her by the end of the week. This is the child that never sleeps. Ever. She screamed for 3 hours straight one night. She finally went to sleep at 3am. She slept for one freaking hour and then was up again. For the rest of the day. Anyway. That was my rant. High altitudes + babies = misery. Luckily for us, she decided to take a nap most of the trip out there. On the way back, we made frequent stops to take pictures and let her play. We took this picture on top of the mountain that the visitors center is on. Introducing the family. It is not a very attractive picture for any of us. We are looking into the sun, it was really windy, and crazy cold.

I'm on the far left. Then Sarah (SIL), Mike(bro), Nick(oldest bro), Cherie and Maribel.
I have never seen scenery more beautiful. We were on top of the mountains. You could see for miles. It was wonderful. I loved it. I would post about 50 pictures, but seeing as it takes 15minutes per picture(no, I'm not kidding) I'll refrain.
After Trail Ridge Road, we saw the Alluvial Fan. It is where a damn broke in the 80's, taking large amounts of rocks with it, and spreading them wherever it pleased. The picture below shows me sitting on one of those "rocks."

Day 6
This was the final day in Colorado, and it was not a great one. The hike we were going to go one had no parking spots open for several miles. We decided on another hike, and it turned out to be a boring one. It was hot again that day, and there was little shade, and lots of other people. Although I had again turned my basal down 50%, I had my first low. It didn't seem to be a bad one at first. Only 75. I took 30 grams. 5 minutes later, my brother wanted to keep going. I convinced him to wait another 5 minutes. I rechecked. I was 78. Neither Nick or Cherie wanted to sit there in the sun. I don't know what their problem was. It made me glad it was the one and only low I had the entire trip. I finally came up, but it did involve eating and hiking at the same time to keep everyone happy. The hike was someone pretty, but a bit of a let down after Trail Ridge Road.
Day 7
This was the day I was dreading. This was the trip I had to make all by myself. I had never flown alone before. I was dropped off by a shuttle bus at the baggage claim. After wondering through the airport, I finally found the United check-in area. They were like 50 different areas to check in, and I had no idea which one I needed. The woman I asked pointed to a line that read "International flights. E-tickets only." I was domestic, and I had a paper ticket. Low and behold, it was the right line. Weird. Then it was on to security. I had high hopes after security in Chicago. I was even waved into the express line. My first panic came when I set down my carry-on and shoes, started to go through the metal detector, and the woman behind me got my attention and asked me if I had dropped my ticket. Indeed I had. I couldn't believe I had and didn't notice it. I walked up to the metal detector again. The screener told me to loose the cell phone. I told him it was an insulin pump. He must have noticed I was nervous, because he told me they never set it off. Well, it must have been my lucky day! He even let me go through the detector again, because I had forgotten my belt, and it still set it off. After a hand wand and a pat down, I went to my gate, and flew home without a problem.

Overall, it was a wonderful trip. Other than the one low, the diabetes behaved. I can't wait to go back with my whole family (parents included) again. It is the most beautiful place I have ever visited.

Guess who is going to Colorado in 3 days.

ME!!!

As you might remember, I've been wanting to go out there ever since I went with a youth group 2 years ago, and NOW I GET TO!! I'm going with both my brothers, their wives and my niece.
Am I nervous? Oh heck yes. More nervous than I was last time. See, my brothers even after spending quite a few years of their lives in the same house with a diabetic, are fairly clueless. They both moved out before I started pumping, and let's just say things changed A LOT when I started pumping. I don't think they even know how to use glucagon. (I plan to fix that). One brother seems to have it in his head that we can go out and hike from 6am to 6pm. All day. Every day. With an 11month old and a diabetic? I think not. Well, at least I hope not. The plan is to cut basals in half right off the bat. The time change and the travel will start me off high, but I haven't found a good solution for either.

Ahh! I have to run, but any tips on flying, adjusting to new time zones, major hiking and anything else that might be helpful (good sights to see?) are greatly appreciated!

Wanted

One mail-order pharmacy.
At the least, it has to ship insulin and test strips. It would be nice if it shipped oral medication too.
If anyone has a good experience (or a bad one) that they could share, I would really appreciate it!

I killed it.

Well, the streak ended yesterday.
First, it was the chocolate cake. My mom had just baked it, and it is was warm out of the oven. My dad was having a piece for snack, and I couldn't resist.

The guess? 30 grams.
The result? 64.
Later that night?

Virgin, of course. It was the first time I had ever had one.
The Guess? 45 grams.
The result? 326.

So thanks for all the congrats, but it's over, and I killed it. Until next time, if there IS a next time...

I solemnly swear that I AM diabetic.

I just have to share my joy. These are my numbers from the past 2 days.
142
133
166
143
135
152
164
167
110
108
I even checked myself on the new meter Accu-check just sent me. It agreed.
What do I think about this?

A pumper's worst enemy

Thank you to Kerri for giving me questions even though I can not count, and I was the 6th. I'm a little late in the game, but if you want to participate, I'll give 5 questions to the first 5 that ask.

1. (A rip off from Julia): You are having lunch with three fictional people and you have to pack them a picnic lunch. Who do you invite and what you you serve? Professor Dumbledore (I'm a harry potter fan, what can I say), Abby Lockhart from ER annnnd Dr. McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy. I will serve tea and crumpets. (I honestly had to google crumpets to see what they were. Now I know)
2. What do you see yourself doing in five years? And what kind of shoes will you be wearing?
If I do want I want to do, I will be working at a children's hospital. I will wear really comfortable shoes, because I hope to be on my feet all day. At the end of the day, I want to be tired, but satisfied.

3. When the movie of your life is made, who will play you and what will the title of the film be? I've thought and thought about this question, and I can't come up with a good answer yet. I do not know where my life is going to lead yet. I am at a pretty huge cross roads right now, and I do not know where I am going to end up. I'd like to have a good job, that I enjoy (with good insurance of course) I would like to get married, eventually, and even have kids someday. I know, I didn't answer the question. So sue me. :)
4. Do you have any phobias? If so, what are they? If not, what do you think keeps you from having one? Heights. Heights are very bad for me. I have never been on a rollar coaster because of it.
5. Why do you blog?
I can't remember why I started, but I know why I continue. I blog to vent. I blog to celebrate. I blog to put everything out on paper (er..the screen) and hope it clears up. I blog to be a part of the fabulous OC.

Psyc!
I had a whole post written.
The dial-up internet connection killed it.
But in case you hadn't heard: s1955 died today. Hurray!
The real post will come....eventually. This week has been really crazy busy, and this weekend is going to be worse. AHHHH!!!

My Turn!

Accent: I have an annoying Midwest accent. It's nasally and it is pointed out to me on a regular basis.
Booze: No thank-you.

Chore I Hate: Washing dishes. Granted, I don't have a lot, but i think it makes it worse. I only have a bowl or a plate to do at a time, and I have to do them in the bathroom sink.
Dog or Cat: Dog. However cats are nice on occasion. I had many, many cats when I was young.
Essential Electronics: My laptop.
Favorite Perfume: I don't wear it. But I love the smell of Bath and Body works Warm vanilla sugar.
Gold or Silver: I wear silver most.

Hometown: Somewhere in MI! :-)
Insomnia: Almost never. Most nights I collapse into bed. I'm asleep before my head hits the pillow.

Job Title: Full-time student. Otherwise un-employed. (Someone, somewhere has to give the poor student experience. We have to get it somewhere! Grrr)

Kids: None, but they are cute, and I love working with them.

Living arrangements: In a dorm for 1 (read that ONE) more day!!!!!!!

Most admirable traits: Mine? Um...I've been told I'm patient and kind.

Number of sexual partners: Zero.

Overnight hospital stays: For a week when I was diagnosed.
Phobias: Heights. I've never been on a roller coaster.

Quote: "Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." Albert Camus
Religion: Christian

Siblings: 2 brothers, their wives and a niece.
Time I wake up: M/F: 9:30, T/R: 8, W: 6:30. Weekends as late as I can.
Unusual talent or skill: I have no idea.

Vegetables I love: Carrots

Worst habit: I bite my nails sometimes.
X-rays: Hand, ankle, knees, lungs (3 times this year! Our health clinic loves those things)

Yummy foods I make: Brownies. They have a peanut butter layer. They are wonderful.
Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

An update on me: I have my supplies for the next month. Insurance is still not figured out, but hopefully we will get there eventually. They would only pay for 200 strips, so hopefully I don't get sick this month. I am currently in exam week, which means I am trying really hard not to get stressed out. I move out of the dorm tomorrow (hallelujah!! YOU try living with 300 girls. AHH!!) I'm glad for my pump this week. Any shreds of a schedule is long gone. I eat at the most random times, sometimes only a little, other times a lot. Ahh, the craziness of college life!

Grrrr. A Rant about insurance

Well, our insurance issues are not over. A short time ago, we thought we had the insurance issues all figured out, but we did not. Now, insurance is refusing to pay for ANYTHING until everything is straightened out. No insulin, no test strips, nothing. I am on my last bottle of test strips right now because the pharmacy refused to fill the full number last time, claiming insurance refused to pay for more. (We checked, they didn't decline) So I am on pins and needles waiting to hear. Everyone we talk to says they know other people have been in our situation, but no one knows how to fix it. We were trying to do the honest, right thing, and it is now getting us screwed over. I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES!!! Apparently they would rather have to go the ER (which they will pay for) than pay for my test strips and insulin that prevents me from going there. Grrrrrr.
*Update* I think we have a temporary solution for now. We might have to pay for the prescription up front (ouch!) but insurance #1 will reimburse us 80%. So I will be able to get supplies. Hopefully. I am going this afternoon to try it. Meanwhile, person at insurance company #1 is talking to #2 and hopefully it will get straightened out. Thanks so much for the generous offer of supplies. It looks I will be able to get through, even if it will be expensive.

I. hate. being. sick.
I hate it.
I have all of this crap in my lungs. I hate it. Luckily, it haven't been too nauseous. I've been able to eat OK, and drink OK. My numbers have been...decent, but a little on the high side. No ketones though. I plan on going to the health clinic tomorrow. Blah. I am going to go take ANOTHER nap.
*Update* I spoke too soon. My numbers are crap. And you know that lack of nausea? Yeah, that's no longer true. Thank goodness for temp basals. I am now running at 125%, but I don't know if I want to leave that for tonight. I have been sleeping so heavily that my roommate had music on and was talking and laughing with another girl (they didn't know I was sleeping) and I didn't hear them. So which is the lesser of the 2 evils, running in the 200's all night, or risk going low? I'll probably just let the temp basal expire and sleep without it tonight.

The decision....kind of

Since Kerri is worried about me, and I need a break from studying, I thought I would continue the previous post. So, if you haven't read the one below, go do so.
I decided to put another site in. I found a spot on my stomach that looked good, so I got everything ready, and put it in. It did hurt a little, but nothing horrible. I started to pick up the stuff from the site change, and my arm brushed up against the site. I looked down and my arm had a large line of blood on it. WHAT THE HECK???? So, I look at the site, and sure enough, it was bleeding. I use the quickset, and not only was blood going up the tubing, it was coming out of the hole in the middle too. I have never EVER seen anything like that. It was SO GROSS! I grabbed a huge stack of kleenex and pulled the site out. I soaked through 2 folded tissues before it stopped. I sure knicked a good vein or something!
After that, I was frustrated and (excuse my language) somewhat pissed off. I haven't had a site last more than 2 days in the last couple of site changes. So I dialed up a dose of levemir, gave a correction of humalog and stuck my pump in the drawer. It bought me some time to relax and cool down. I will probably put in a site later tonight, or early tomorrow morning, but after 2 painful sites, I just couldn't handle another one.
Now, as for the previous question about lows rebounding into highs. I woke up several mornings in a row in the mid to high 70's. I usually treat numbers in the 70's, because it usually means I'm dropping. I was curious to know if I could be running that low, or lower during the night. But that trend has stopped, and I did do some random middle of the night checks. My basal does drop me 50-100 points over night, but so far that has been beneficial. I am usually on the high side when I go to bed, so the basal is helping me wake up at wonderful numbers at around 80-100. I was having a WONDERFUL streak of numbers. It was BEAUTIFUL. I would wake up in range, and not go low or above 180 the whole day. I was in diabetic heaven. Then it ended. 2 things changed on that day: I changed my site and finished my antibiotic. I suspect the antibiotic, but could it really do that? If it did, I want it back!!
In other news, life has been going at an astounding pace. I will be done with my freshman year of college in 3 weeks. I can't believe it went by so fast. It is crunch time in classes, trying to get everything done before the semester is over. On top of that, there has been a lot of emotional stresses. Last Monday night, my good friend had a grand mal seizure in front of me. I'm really glad I was there. I was able to call 911 and talk her through it and calm her afterwards, but it was very scary. It furthered the impression that I NEVER want to have a seizure. I have been wearing my medic alert bracelet almost 24/7. I realized I didn't have it one when I went to the ER with her, and that scared me. I have been one of several girls sleeping in her room at night. She does not have a room mate. So after that, and getting no sleep after spending the night in the ER, I have been helping her recover and going to her to the neurologist, etc. Last night, my room mate broke out into hives. Huge, rapidly spreading hives. You could literally watch them grow. It was quite alarming. In half an hour it went from a mosquito looking bite to covering both arms. SO, I spend another night in the ER. Whew! I get tried just typing it. So, needless to say, I am a little sick of the ER. This post is now very long, very rambling and very grammatically poor, but I don't really care. I'm tired, and it is all off my chest!
*Update* I put in another site this morning. In my arm. I didn't want to do one there, since the weather is so nice, but my stomach is looking a little beat up. I set a temporary rate of 25% until the levemir is out of my system. I guess it needs to be higher, because I haven't been below 200 all day. I am currently sitting at 200, but I can't correct because of the stupid insulin on board. I am refraining from just bolusing the crap out of that 200. I am looking forward to better numbers tomorrow when my stress level will be lower, I will have a full night of sleep (Lord willing) and no levemir in my system to mess things up.

eenie meenie miny moe

I am sitting here. Debating.
I tried a thigh site Monday. It was...OK. But I did try it. I hurt at first, then was OK. Then it started to hurt again last night. At dinner, it burned. Badly. So, I gave it and pulled it out. I bled a tiny bit, but not much. Now, I am not connected to anything. I don't want to put in a site. I don't want to take a shot. Not doing either is not an option. So? What do I do?
The decision and a lot of other things coming soon. It's been a wild ride lately.

Sorry guys. It looks like I have to put on word verification. I hate that thing, because I always get them wrong, but I had my first comment spam or whatever, so up it goes!

True or False?

If one has an untreated low in the middle of the night, they will rebound quite high by the next morning.

A bunch of random things.

First of all, to all of you parents of kids that have diabetes amaze me. I read some of your blogs today, I think almost every single one brought tears to my eyes. You all are doing a great thing with your kid. They may be diabetic, but you are letting them be awesome, normal kids. (I'm one of the weird ones that prefers being called "diabetic" to saying that I have diabetes. Who knows why)

I did a site change in the middle of the day today, and it wasn't a site change day. I didn't have ketones, but I had been going progressively higher all day. I didn't eat breakfast, and I went from 174 at breakfast to 324 at lunch. That should have been my first clue, but I just corrected it and ate lunch. I didn't come down, but I didn't go sky high either. Finally at about 4 this afternoon I was 377 and I decided the site should go. So I took a shot (with a pen :-) )and pulled out the old site. WOW! I'm glad I didn't let it go 3 days. It is NASTY looking. I took a picture, but for your mental health, I'm keeping it to myself. I'm not sure yet if it is infected or just bruised. I'm keeping antibiotic cream (but no band-aids, stupid allergies) on it, and I'll check again in the morning. I've never had an infection before, so this should be interesting.
*EDIT* I do have an infection. I'm on Amoxicillin and Clavulanate V for 10 days. Not Keflex for me. I don't like looking all puffy and red. :-) Anyone have any good suggestions to make sure it goes away, stays away, and how to prevent another one?
In other news, I think we FINALLY got all my insurances stuff figured out. I have insurance through my parents, which covers 80% and the rest is supposed to be covered by a "crippled children's" health care plan. (I won't even get into the fact that they call it that.) Well we just found out that our pharmacy has been billing just this "crippled children's health care" and not my parents insurance. My parents insurance is stupid, and it requires that we pay for prescriptions up front, and then we mail them the bill, and they send us a check for 80% later. The pharmacy said they had something worked out, but apparently they are lying. So my asked around and she thinks she finally has something worked out. This is a relief. I was worried that when my secondary runs out when I turn 21, my parents insurance would pitch a fit at having to pay for all the stuff they haven't had to pay for in so long. But, hopefully it is all cleared up. Hurray!
Speaking of insurance....if you haven't sent a letter to your senator about s.1955, go do it NOW. My medical costs are 760 dollars a month, not including visits to the endo, blood tests, etc. That's a LOT of money. Let's face it, none of us could afford to pay for the best medical care if it came straight from our pocket. I am really bad at the whole HTML code thing, but if you go to
or

I think they both have the link.
Until Next time....
Jen (who has a BAD case of spring fever)
*EDIT* Blast. I can't even figure out how to do links on blogger! GRRR. I've wanted to put pictures up for a while now, but I just can't get them to show up in my profile or title. Anyway, those links should be : http://sixuntilme.blogspot.com and http://artistmom2two.blogspot.com

Levemir Day 3-6, and the return to pumping

Well, if you can't tell from the title, and I'm hooked up to Grant (or Jeremiah Jr.) once again. I'm glad he's back. I didn't expect to have him back so soon, but once again, I surprised myself. Each day I was on Levemir I felt worse and worse. I do not like being high. Worse still is being high almost constantly. I felt like my organs were being eaten away from all the extra glucose in my blood stream. Okay, that's extreme, but the point is, I didn't feel good. I went up to 300+ ever day, and I spent a lot of time in the 200's. Now, if that was the only thing, I could have worked at it and gotten back into normal ranges. BUT, I woke up Sunday morning and I realized I didn't like the way my arms looked. (small bruises) I didn't like having to wait to eat my smoothie at the mall until I found a bathroom to inject. I had to carry a little notebook and pen with my so that I could remember how much insulin I gave. The pump didn't just tell me. I'm not quite sure how MDI-ers do it. I'm sure I would have adjusted with time, but I woke up Sunday, and instead of being happy about not having to look for my pump, I was sad. I have a habit of looking over the history screens before I go to sleep at night, and I sort of missed that ritual. So I slapped another site in, set a low temp basal to account for the levemir still in my system, and off I went. My blood sugars today have an average of 170. Ahh, success. Yes, I do think I love my pump. It bugs the (*&^*& out of me at times, but it is an awesome tool. I now have a huge stash of levemir and humalog pens. I like the thought that if I ever have major site change issues, I can take a shot and worry about it later. I am back to pumping, but I haven't solved all my problems by far. First of all, I shut off a number of alarms. Some day they will be put back on, but for now, I don't want to hear them. Second of all, I need to try a new site. I'm using quick-sets now. I've tried the insets, and I hate them. I tried the silhouette once at camp, and I hated it with a passion. I am getting to the point that I just might try them again. The only thing that worries me is that I have a fairly major reaction to IV300. Do those sets use that tape, or am I remembering wrong? I'm hoping to get my hands on a few Cleo's soon. With some work, I hope to find a solution to my set problem. Maybe some LMX4? Who knows, but I'm sure Grant will be happy when I do! I don't think he liked sitting in the drawer all alone.

Levemir and Humalog, Day 2

The second day on Levemir went a little better. I was 81 at lunch (wohoo!) and 129 at supper. The 81 at lunch have been much lower. I overbolused earlier in the day, and I didn't eat extra to cover it. I was high to begin with, and I decided to keep an eye on it and wait to see what would happen. It worked out well. I am still fighting a few highs though. I plan on faxing my records to my endo on Friday. I think I need more levemir, but I am not confident enough to just raise it. I've heard you need to wait a couple of days before making changes in Lantus doses, so I'm assuming it is the same for Levemir.
Now, for some information on Levemir. It is the Novo Nordisk version of Lantus. It was approved by in FDA in June 2005. It was available in the UK before now. It is very similar to Lantus. It is a 24 hour analog. It does not have the sting that Lantus has. I take in once, at night.
I've been trying really hard to inject a few minutes before I eat, but its hard. I certainly can't wait more than 15 minutes. My life is just way too hectic to handle that. I am used to bolusing while I eat, about half way through the meal. It's an adjustment to decide exactly what I am going to eat before I even taste it.
Thanks for all the tips on calculating insulin on board. I think I'm going to try Felix's version. When I was pumping, I always had my insulin on board duration set to 3.5 hours. I have a hard time believing that insulin is equally active for 5 hours, but it is possible.
As for my mom, I know she's my mom and will always be my mom. So I guess I should expect her to always act like it then too. It just gets a little annoying sometimes. After all, I am still a teenager, right? That entitles me to a little teenage behavior. Thanks for all of the support! I appreciate it!

Levemir and Humalog, Day 1

I've been pump free for close to 24 hours!
Doesn't that sound weird? It sounds like I'm at an AA meeting or something. Anyway. First, for some good news. My A1c was 7.0%!!!! I was SO happy to hear this. It's WAY down. It's the lowest its been in a while.
I talked to my endo about going back on shots and he didn't even blink. He just asked me if I wanted to use pens or syringes. Have I mentioned I LOVE my endo? He trusts me to know what is best for me. He is there to help me accomplish the best care possible. I dread the day when I have to grow up and use and an adult endo. I think he will let me stay during college though. He was going to put he on Lantus, but the pen with that, as he put it, is "an absolute failure." He said he didn't have many patients on Levemir, but if I was willing, he wanted to try it. It doesn't sting like Lantus can, because it works differently. He explained it, but I couldn't repeat it. Last night at 10.30pm, I gave me first dose. 32 units. It sure looked like a LOT of insulin to give at once. So far, it's going OK. I'm trying to stay positive. I have been higher than I would like, but I don't think the levemir has had a chance to build up in my system. I also don't know how to correct if its been less than 3hours, because I don't know how to calculate insulin on board. Does anyone know how to do this? The injections haven't bothered me so far. What has bothered me is my mother. She was the only one who hasn't been completely supportive of this. She doesn't seem to understand it. But I know she is trying. We talked about it, and she still vividly remembers trying to still a toddler with needles and forcing me to eat meals I didn't really want to. We talked about how the new insulins are different, and how I can still eat what I want whenever I want. I think she'll come around, but for now, she is driving me CRAZY!! She is looking over my shoulder to see what my blood sugar is, she's making sure I prime the needle, that I am injecting before I eat, etc. I know she wants me to keep control, but she hasn't treated me like this for years. I've been in complete control of my D care for years, and I've done very well with it. She seems to think that because I'm not using the pump, I won't take care of myself. *sigh* We'll get there. So other than the highs, and my mother, Levemir is going great! I got out of bed this morning and I didn't have to look for my pump and make sure it didn't fall, I took a shower and I didn't have to make sure my loofa (sp??) didn't get caught in my site. I chose an outfit that I only wear once in a while because the pump makes it bulge funny. It's great!

To stay pumping or not?

I am really struggling with my thoughts right now. As I told in my earlier posts, I am really frustrated with pumping right now. I am sick of the site changes and all that go with them. The skin irritations, the pain, the irritating bubbles, EVERYTHING! I am sick of all the BEEPING! Granted, the beeping is there to help me. I am the one making it beep. I set the alarms to remind me to check after a high, etc. etc. etc. But its the ones that I can't really control that I am getting sick of. I was sitting in church today when the low cartridge alarm went off. And off, and off, and off. It just kept beeping every few minutes or so. It was in a pocket that wasn't really accessible. Finally, after some looks from the woman sitting next to me, I finally got it out and shut the stupid thing up. Now, I could have put it on vibrate, but I hate that I have to think about it. I just want to GO. I am sick of the dealing with the tubing, the complicated procedure of changing clothes and the mechanical failures.
So tomorrow I am going to talk to my endo about going back on shots. I think. I just can't make up my mind. I am fully aware that they won't solve all of my problems, I'll just trade them for new ones. I don't think my meal times will be affected on Lantus, but I don't know. I went from NPH to the pump. Lantus wasn't out when I started pumping. Lantus is a whole new world for me. I will have to take a shot every time I eat. I know that, but I'm OK with that. For now. I also plan on talking to him about different sets, and any other suggestions he may have. Oh, and I get my A1c. I honestly have no idea what it will be, which is kind of frightening. Wish me luck. Hopefully by this time tomorrow I will have some sort of solution, no matter what it may be.

*PS* I just found out that Cozmo just came out with their new clip. It's ABOUT TIME!!! Cozmo users just have to go to Cozmo's website, take a short survey, and they will send you a new clip, for FREE! Yahoo!

Very, very quick update. I promise I'll have a real post coming soon.
My dad went to the surgeon on Monday. No need for surgery!! Just some physical therapy, and a check up in a month. Praise God!
My roommate is in the hospital for surgery. She seems to be doing OK, but it's a hard road.
Thanks so much!!
Spring Break starts tomorrow! Hurray for sleep! ...And an endo appointment on Monday, but we won't talk about that....

There are good side and bad sides to returning back to normal after a horrible streak of highs. The good side: well, I am back to normal, so I feel better. The bad side: When I do go high now, I feel HORRIBLE. I am 286 now, I feel like I should be 400. I am super thirsty. I have a headache. I have "that feeling" in my legs. This is why I'd rather be low than high. A low, sure, it's really scary for about 20 minutes, but after that, it's over with. A high I have at least 2 hours invested before I feel better. A low, I can eat food, and I will feel better. A high, I can drink water. That helps for all of 30 seconds until I am thirsty again.
Oh well. At least I'm not high all the time.
Spring Break is in 10 days. :-)

PS Does anyone know a good way to get a blood stain off of a computer screen? I got mad at my meter, and shook my hand, that was full of blood (bad idea, i know) and it got on the screen. Now it won't come all the way off. I'm laughing pretty hard. I can't believe I did this.

Friends

I love my friends. Yesterday was a really rough day for me. It was insanely busy, and then I got some horrible news. I went to Winter Fantasia Friday night. It's like college prom. I managed to hide my pump. I've never worn it to a formal dance before. Pictures to come later. Saturday, I had to be up at 7am, after about 4 hours of sleep. I worked from 8 to noon on this big fundraiser for the local children's hospital. Then I went home and worked until 6pm with my parents. We got a lot done. On my way out from the dorm, I stopped and checked the mail. Big mistake. Inside was my rejection letter for the nursing program. I kept it together until I got home. I am really disappointed. Nursing is what I always dreamed of doing. I have no idea what my back up plan is. I am going to apply next semester, but after that, I don't know. Nursing is the only thing I want to do with my life. I am a lot less upset now than I was. But I am still devastated. I knew there was a pretty good chance I wouldn't get it, but I didn't really believe it. My friends pulled together to help me. When I got back to campus, they bought me ice cream. They listened to me cry about it. Then they took me to see the on campus movie. They have been so supportive of me. I don't know what I would do without them.
In other news, both my dad and roommate are making improvements. My roommate came back Friday. She does have an infection, but it can easily dealt with an oral antibiotic. My dad is also doing better. The pain is less, but he also has a stronger pain killer. He is sleeping much better. He goes to a neuro surgeon on Wednesday. Thanks for all the prayers!

I have a request. Will those of you who pray please pray for my Dad and my roommate?
My Dad has been having back problems. He has a lot of pain, and even sitting is painful. He goes for an MRI today,and goes to the neuro surgeon Wednesday to see what they can do. Pray they can help him, with out major surgery. If he has to have this surgery, he wouldn't be able to work for 3 months. We farm, so him not working for 3 months means crops don't get planted, which means we will have no income this year. We are all hoping and praying for this to be much less than it appears to be.
My roommate had to leave college yesterday and go back home for testing. She has Crohn's disease. She thinks she has an infection. This infection has put her in the hospital twice before. We are all hoping that she can just be put on oral antibiotics and sent home.
Thanks!
In other news, my numbers have been much more manageable lately. I have seeing a lot less peaks, and that makes me VERY happy.

My range today: 50 to 318. Wow. I'm awesome.
*EDIT*
I just had an "ah ha!" moment. I realized the source of my highs. I'm premenstral. The source of my lows is probably over correcting, or, as some call it, rage bolusing. At least I know what the problem is! Now, I can attempt to fix it. Yahoo!

Sorry to everyone about my last couple of negative posts.
I am just really frustrated right now. I am seriously considering taking a pump break, but I don't know how. I have an endocrinologist appointment in a couple of weeks, and I think I'll ask about it then. Has anyone done think kind of pump break? I'm thinking about doing lantus with a humalog pen. I'm not sure how long. It will probably take me a week or so, and I'll be sick of it. But after 6 years on the pump, I think that maybe a pump break is a good idea.
In other news, my numbers have been HORRIBLE. My average from the past 2 days is 244. That doesn't include today where I've been 234, 137 (wohoo!),273 (I knew it wouldn't last),249, 215, 348 and 361 (site change time!).
Things to look forward to this week: Getting to sleep in for 2 hours on Wednesday, thursday- meeting with a friend from diabetes camp, and saturday: Winter Fantasia (college prom). I am going to focus on these thing this week, and maybe I'll make it!

PS I promise this negative streak won't last forever!

I want to quit.
I know I can't.
I HATE my pump right now. I want to rip out the site and throw my pump through the window.
I just spent close to an hour trying to change my site.
The dry winter weather is getting to my skin. My sites dry out underneath, so I can't use the same area for a long time. My stomach has been very sensitive lately, and site insertions hurt like #(#@*). I like using the area more toward the back, but I have a rash on that area. The area on my arms is plain used up. I decided I was going to try my thigh/hip. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine sticking something 6mm deep into my thigh. I don't know why, I just couldn't get over it. Is there anyone who uses this area with a quick set that could share some tips?
I'm just so FRUSTRATED!!!!
I seriously considered just giving myself a shot and leaving the pump off. I still haven't ruled it out. I know that after like a day, I would be sick of it, so I finally gave up and put the stupid thing in my stomach. I got tears in my eyes it hurt so bad. I had to stand there for a second before I could pull the insertion needle out. I still kind of hurts. I might end up tearing it out, but the last 2 I pulled out were perfectly fine.
UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, I'm ranting, I know, but I am EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED!
Now I'm back to studying for my chem midterm......

This is my answer to my lack of boyfriend, compliments of Build-A-Bear. He brings me flowers everyday. He smiles at me all the time. He can not leave, or say anything wrong (or anything right, but that is besides the point).
He is my Mr. Wonderful.

Happy Valentines Day to me!

Failure

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like a failure? Yesterday was one of those days for me. It was my first day back to class after Winter Break. I woke up really, really early. Our room was a million degrees. I changed my clothes and went back to bed. I didn't check my blood sugar. Strike one. I got up for class a little early to study for my chem quiz. I didn't really end up studying, but I wasn't really that worried about it. Strike two. As I was about to leave for class, I realized I didn't do an assignment for my Psyc class. I ran downstairs, and quickly fill in the answers off the CD. Strike three. It's a good thing I was going to class early. I got to my first class of the day, chemistry and got my first exam back. I got an 80 %. Not horrific, but I thought it was easy. Strike four. I sit down, and the prof tells everyone to pass their homework in. The homework I knew nothing about, because I never bothered to double check the website. Strike five. In my 10 minute break between chem and psyc, I realize I hadn't eaten anything yet that day, and I was starving. Strike six.. I look in my backpack and I have nothing to eat. Strike seven. Later, I go to my anatomy class. I get yet another exam back, and I got a 77%. That one hurt. Strike eight. He ended up adding 2 points, so it was really a 79. That exam was killer, and everyone did badly.
8 strikes, and the day was only half over. Who is going to throw me out of the game? Please I could use a nap! I also realized yesterday I was taking crappy care of myself. Yeah, that's a bad sentence, but I don't care. I checked myself 4 times yesterday. yes, only 4. I ate pizza, and didn't do an extended bolus. I went about 8 hours at one point without checking. And you know what? I don't really care. I'm trying to do better today, but yesterday, I couldn't handle it. I couldn't tackle the brain memory to test every few hours, to remember to bolus before I ate (I am really bad at that) and to figure out how much I was going to drop that night.
Ahhh. That felt good. I, in a sense, got my day off. It was a crappy day overall. I wouldn't want to repeat it, but it's over now. Yes, I suck. But I'm OK with that.
It's the weekend in 2 days, and spring break in 28.

Happy

Singles

Awareness

Day!

Otherwise known as Valentines day.

I hope everyone had a great day!

I've decided that technology doesn't like me.
My Cozmonitor died today. E4. Consult users Manual. User manual says to call Cozmo. I call them, they say to try changing the battery. I make a trip out to Meijer (kinda like Wal-mart) and pay $1.99 for a new battery. This is the second time I've had this lovely E4 error, and I know full well it's not the battery, but I will make the service people happy and try it anyway. I put the new, shiny battery in, and low and behold, yet another E4 error. I called Cozmo yet again. After waiting on hold, I go through the whole "did it get wet", "did you drop it" thing again. Finally he asks me my shipping address. This has become a tricky question for me. Sometimes I live in the dorm. Sometimes I live at home. Sometimes, like this weekend, I'm on a school break, and I'm at other places. I take and chance and have it shipped to my house. He thinks it will be there Monday. It's a good thing I like that little silver flash meter! It's still a pain, but I think I'll manage.
If there is one thing having diabetes for 17 years has taught me, its the "smile and nod" routine. Oh, your great uncle had diabetes and had both his legs cut off? That's nice. Smile and nod. Oh? There is an herbal cure advertised on Saturday afternoon TV? That's nice. Smile and nod. The customer service guy recommends I put a piece of tape on the end of the Cozmonitor so dust and lint can't get in when it's in my pocket? Smile and nod. (or, since it's on the phone, "ok. I'll try that!") Smile and nod, smile and nod, smile and nod.......

PS For all the mothers out there, I am getting lots of sleep. I went to bed at 10.30 last night. 10:30!! That's crazy early! I am still very tired, but that's about as bad as it's gotten.

Here it comes....

The flu has been going around my dorm.
I haven't been feeling the greatest, mostly I've been really tired.
Now I have a headache and a low grade fever.
The good news: My blood sugar is 166.
The bad news: That basal check I did this morning is now void and useless. UGH!

I. Am. SO. Excited.
I have a room mate for next year.
I don't have to go through the nervous agony of going pot-luck again next year.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my room mate this year. We get along great. We even seriously considered living together next year, but she decided to live with someone else. That left me wondering what I was going to do. Then yesterday, a girl I kind of know came and asked me to live with her next year! I talked to her about the whole, are you OK with needles and blood, and she told me her Grandpa was diabetic. *sigh* We'll deal with the type 1 vs. type 2 thing later. The point is, she's OK with needles and stuff, and I have a HUGE weight off of my mind!
Just wanted to share my joy!

The many adventures of pumping

Grant was delivered today.
The UPS guy kindly let the girl next door sign for it. I'm so glad she told me as soon as I got back. *sarcasm* I had to ask her specifically if the UPS guy had come before she remembered.
I now have 3 Cozmo pumps in my room. That's roughly $18,000 worth of equipment. Yikes!
I took pictures of them. Jeremiah is on the left, Fred is in the middle and Grant is on the right. You can see the bedspread I made in the background. I'm not sure Grant's name is going to stick. I think I like Jeremiah Jr. better. We shall see.....
This morning, my room mate woke me up, saying my pump was beeping. The alarms NEVER wake me up. She often hears them, so she wake me up, and I take care of it. I took out my pump, but it wasn't beeping. Then I heard a beeping that sound a LOT like a pump. I got up and went over to the box that Fred was in. I had forgotten to take out the battery, so the automatic off alarm was going off. It was vibrating and beeping a LOT. It sounded like something was alive inside the box. We (my room mate and I) had a good laugh about it afterwards. I am not the most coherent person in the morning, so the two pump confusion was a little much for my brain.
For the first time ever, my tubing broke off from the cartridge. I was really mad when it happened. 5 minutes before class, and it just broke clean off. That didn't give me a whole lot of time to chance it. I change the site, cartridge and tubing every 3 days. I have no idea why it would just break off like that. Has anyone had this happen to them? What do you do to prevent it?
I went to the mall tonight with my mom tonight. I went low twice. Well, the number wasn't really that low (81 both times) but I sure felt low. After dinner that was sure to make me go high (lemonade and cheesecake, both evil) I tested at 365. After I tested after an hour, I realized the meter was coded wrong. So now I'm wondering if I was lower than 81.
So, yeah. That's the highlights of my day. One pump to another to yet another. A record breaking site change. 2 lows and a very high that left me with a headache and nausea. All in a day's work.
*edit* Does anyone have a good, blank blood sugar log? I hate the print outs from the Cozmo, and the one I have is just so-so.

The short life of Fred.

Fred arrived today. I came back from class, and he was sitting there. I started unpacking him, and my room mate proclaimed his name to be Fred. I looked Fred over. The touch bolus button was different. It was more plastic like. That was a design fault of the older pumps. The button repeatedly fell off. I put a battery in. I loaded an empty cartridge to try it out. Fred just didn't feel like Jeremiah did. I turned them over side-by-side. They looked very similar. I couldn't put my figure on it. I didn't like this new pump. Jeremiah and I had gotten along well for a year and a half. He served me well. I felt foolish. It's just a piece of equipment, but I didn't want him to leave. I started rationalizing why I didn't really need a new pump. A crack in the casing isn't that big of a deal, right? Then I turned the back light on both and held them side-by-side. I knew then what the difference was. The back light of Fred was much dimmer than the backlight on Jeremiah. After another call to Deltec, another new pump is on it's way. Both Fred and Jeremiah will be going back to Deltec tomorrow. Who knows what this new pump will be like? Will it be a boy or a girl? What will it's name be? Why is it that I get so attached to a piece of equipment? Who knows!

:'(

Jeremiah broke tonight. :'( A piece of the plastic casing by the battery broke off when I was putting the battery cap back on. Now I see that there is a crack running down to a seam in the casing. None of my minimed pumps ever did this, but then again, I've had this pump for a year and a half, and none of my minimed pumps lasted that long! I'm calling tomorrow to get a new one. I'm not quite sure how it's going to work, since I'm in the dorm. I'm only here some of the time. I know they can't just leave the pump here, so I'm not sure how they will want to handle it. Now the really, big, important question is: what color should I get?? Should I still with the traditional, yet slightly boring, gray? Or should I be adventurous and get a blue or purple one? http://www.cozmore.com/default.cfm/PID=1.2
Opinions anyone?

*edit* No atomic purple for me. The lady said they prefer that I keep the same color. Oh well, it was worth a shot! (No pun intended) She also said that when a piece falls off like that, they have a higher rate of spontaneously restarting. Yikes! My new pump should be here tomorrow. So now, is the new pump still Jeremiah, or does he get a new name?

I heard of a new diagnosis today.
My mom is on the Children With Diabetes parents list, and Laura's daughter's friends roommate was just diagnosed. I can't imagine being diagnosed at my age. I've lived with it for 17 years. I am emailing her, but I'm not quite sure to say. I'm sure she must be in shock. Is there anyone out there in the OC that was diagnosed as a teen or around that age that could give me some insight? If someone had told you one or two things when you were diagnosed, what would have wanted to hear? I appreciate any help I can get! Thanks to all the OC bloggers out there! (I know you are reading, I have a stats counter now. muahahahaha! lol)

*edit* I really appreciate any input I can get. If you can remember your diagnosis at all, please help me out! Thanks!

A cure in 5 years

I don't know why, but I feel compelled to tell everyone my diagnosis story. I was diagnosed on October 3, 1988. I had all the usual symptoms, but the bed wetting was the most prominent. Before putting me to bed, my mom would put on a regular disposable diaper, a plastic liner and my pajamas. On my bed she would put a sheet, a plastic protector and a mattress liner. I would wet through it all every night. She took me to the doctor. He told me that he thought I probably had diabetes, but he didn't feel comfortable treating a child so young. He told my parents to go home,to avoid feeding me sugar, and to bring me to the hospital the next morning. He didn't realize how sick I really was. My parents could tell that I wasn't myself. Before I loved to talk. I virtually stopped talking. On the ride to the hospital, I said only one thing. I saw a billboard with a puppy on it. I raised my arm, pointed, and said "puppy." My mom still points out that billboard, even though the puppy is long gone. I spent a week in the hospital. My dad couldn't get away from his work on our family farm, so he would come every night. I would scream if my parents weren't in the room. The only time my mom could leave to eat, was when I was asleep and she was sure I wouldn't wake up. We were told the only was we could figure out how much insulin I needed, I had to eat a meal every 4 hours. This meant during the night as well. Although I don't remember it, I can't imagine waking up an almost 2 year old to eat a whole meal of hospital food in the middle of the night. My parents and I left the hospital a week later. My parents had entered the world of protein, fat, carbohydrate exchanges, insulin injections, finger pokes, and strict schedules. Technology has come a VERY long way since I was diagnosed. Blood glucose monitors now read in an amazing 5 seconds. There are amazing new insulins. No more must people deal with NPH, regular, lente and ultralente. The only insulin I haven't been on is lantus. It came out after I started on the pump. We now look forward to continuous glucose monitors. I can't wait to see what new technology they will come out with next. Oh, but wait, there will be a cure in 5 years, right?