Tuesday, October 03, 2006

October 3, 1988

18 years ago, I was in the hospital. I have no memories of this monumental time of my life. I've seen pictures. I look like a orphan child from a third world country, but surrounded by stuffed animals, balloons and family.
18 years is a very long time. A lifetime in fact. Like Allison said, now my diabetes can vote. Hurray? Maybe. I am 18 years complication free. I don't really consider that an accomplishment. I'm only 19 years old for crying out loud! I shouldn't have any complications.
This day doesn't seem any different to me. I don't know if it should.
In general, I am really freaking sick of all the crap. For years and years, it never bothered me.
But lately?
Site rashes
Painful sites
Ball in my stomach crappy highs
Stuff my face and never come up lows.
A few weeks ago, for the first time I can ever remember, I could actually picture a cure. For ME. When that story about the cure for kids diagnosed before 6 months came out, my heart skipped beat. I quickly did the mental math, to see if it was even possible that I had diabetes at 6 months, and went undiagnosed. I pictured what it would be like to be FREE. I was quickly disappointed. The difference between 6 months and 22 months is just too much. Too much to research further. I was disappointed. Maybe that's why it is all bothering me so much lately. Or maybe it's the transition to school. Once again, I have to explain the ins and outs to my roommates. They are really nice about it. They WANT to know, but once I start to explain, I realize just how much there is. From the little things from what my blood sugar should be, to why I need to change my site, what ketones are and why in the world I went off my pump. It's just so much!
I know I'm pretty much the youngest blogger in the OC. I'm too dang young to have been dealing with this more 18 years.
So happy anniversary to me. Maybe I'll go to Dairy Queen or something tonight, or maybe I'll just ignore the day.


Chrissie in Belgium said...

For all it is worth I KNOW where you are coming from! I have had D for 45 years since I was 10. Some times it just hits you - MAN AM I SICK OF THIS! I almost think the worst is when you realize for all the efforts you put into managing your bg values - you will NEVER totally succeed! YES, of course you can prevent a large majority of all the complications, so the effort is worthwhile, but damm it all I want this effort to bring ZERO complications. Accepting that one is diabetic and will remain diabetic until a CURE, not another f*!ing remedy,is found!

guitarchick103 said...

Hi, I came across your blog doing a search for my speech class. Interestingly, we have the same exact birth date. I was born on October 3, 1988. I just thought that was interesting.

Anonymous said...

yeah, october 3, 1988. my birthday too. actually, according to probabilities, we share our birthday with at least 10 million other people. most likely more.